It`s the season of patio parties and wanderlust. Just lash me to the back of a train
(LA Times Auto Racing)

We quit being invited to cocktail parties recently after I mistook a conch shell for a napkin and ran it across my face like some sort of tribesman. The dudes kind of dug it, but it so unsettled their dates that I was asked to leave. Honestly, the hosts were much nicer about it than they could´ve...