Dear Prince Harry:Congratulations on your engagement to the delightful Meghan Markle and for sharing the joyous news on Cyber Monday, elevating a frantic day of online commerce into a mass clicking revelry for royal watchers and bargain hunters.Me, I celebrated by snagging a discounted Anker Elite 2-Port USB Wall Charger with PowerIQ. Now my wife and I can simultaneously juice our phones at night as our hearts recharge with love, which is the line I’ll use when she scowls and asks, “Why did you buy another charger? I’m already tripping over wires.”I assume you didn’t have much time for Cyber Monday, what with the official photo shoot, interviews, public appearances, calls from global leaders, tears from heartbroken young women and fleeting moments of paralyzing doubt, which is all totally normal.Your life will change this spring.You life will turn into something even better.At least, I hope it does. To make sure you are poised to extract maximum bliss from married life — you seemed more inclined to extract maximum fun as a bachelor — I jotted down a few products while browsing Amazon on Cyber Monday.Harry, before becoming a newlywed, you should really get this stuff:1. Anti Snore Strap ($16.99)What’s that? You don’t snore? Mark my words: one night in the future, around 3 a.m., you will awake in horror to find Meghan desperately trying to duct tape a tennis ball to your back. “I can’t take it any more!” she’ll scream. “You sound like a wood chipper!” This pro-happiness gadget is like a jock strap for a husband’s chin and jaw, making it hard for the noisy parts to get loose and disrupt loved ones. It is “scientifically engineered to provide instant snore relief.” Never forget the first rule of marriage marketing: the “relief” is always for her.2. Amazon Echo ($99.99)Even if you already have an army of human servants, I can’t stress the impo ...
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